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Unrefined Dreams Below are 10 entries, after skipping 10 most recent ones in the "Justin" journal:

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February 5th, 2010
06:40 pm

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A method to madness?

the other night I wrote some poetry.  trying somthing new I actualy planned my decent into a depressive state and out of it within a few hours.
The right mix of "self medication" and the right soundtrack (i am an audioplile) led to an almost fluid writing of this poem.

Waiting                                                       10’

Years ago and years from now
I still remember how,
My chin felt on your shoulder.
Our hands together, curled up forever
But your not here as I get older

To tell the truth nothing has quite been fine
Except when I was yours and you where mine.
All the others come and go but they don’t know
That none of them are you ,
and there’s nothing they can do.

Time and time again we took our chances,
Took girls and boys through our little dances.
And let ourselves become their stars
Then let ourselves go to oh, too far.
Over the edge and back again

Of those whose hearts we tore apart
We could try and say we did our part
No regrets, and move on to better bets.
But as a both us where such a pair
We could never really quite play fair.
 

But you and I we had our chances
Between our self destruct romances
Despite us being partners in crime
We missed each other every time
And I will ever want you to be mine.


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February 4th, 2010
01:24 am

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i still got it?
so I can make myself crash into a depression for a few hours write it down and come back to surface unharmed.... i think im on to somthing.........

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February 1st, 2010
08:14 am

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it still feels like a fight
bad dreams = depression,but Ive got good things today....

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January 28th, 2010
01:48 pm

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plays with fire
so after just going over their furnaces i can say i have allready stolen thier fire technology!  oh i wish a had a running shop...
pic is my first blast furnace got it to about 1,300 degrees



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January 27th, 2010
09:27 am

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Class starts today =)
now to wait through the safty lectures on machines I allready know how to use....

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January 21st, 2010
04:46 pm

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a long wait
being finnaly controlably stable and happy most of time is great, a goal ive been tring to reach for along time.  I'm starting a class next week and between that and the gym it will get out of the house everyday.  I still have to be here the majority of the time to take care of my grandma.
so now i wait until my living circumstaces change, for the other shoe to drop so to say.  it might be a long wait, or it might be next week.
we'll see. self improvement is my new goal for the mean time. and we'll see how that goes =)

Current Music: the pouges

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January 17th, 2010
11:54 pm

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born to lose...
Im in love with a dead girl.  there i said it.  and i dont care.

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December 29th, 2009
10:35 pm

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hey wow i remembered I had a live journal!
so I am now mostly hippie, and it is good.  very good. My "terrilbe twentys" as i have posted many times before are over and i am finally moveing on with my life haveing conqured my BP and learned haw to harness it to devlope my skills to really persue my dreams, of wich i have many.  the finacial axe over my head i have lived with for so long is gone, I know I will lamd on my fet no mater what life throws at me at this point.  


 hello everybody, ive missed you all =)

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March 1st, 2009
05:14 pm

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headnoism vs. real life
Ive taken up almost all the vices I had stoped due to my health.   in 25 yrs they will be able to grow me a new liver right?
anyway living the way I want is worth any years I might save of my life, think of all the fun Id miss :)

Current Music: ska
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February 27th, 2009
10:48 pm

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if it wasent for bad luck I wouldent have any luck at all
Another car totaled, back to the city bus.....  I've been here before, it's not so bad.   I've got a plan now :)

Current Mood: hopefulhopeful
Current Music: ska
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